In our society dating is commonplace. Usually when couples date they are attempting to get to know each other better. The dating scene is also an avenue through which individuals try to find their soul mates, ascertain their compatibility, and build their relationships. I’m not one to overemphasize dating since the Bible doesn’t say anything about it as a means of finding a mate. Although some good relationships have evolved from couples who started out dating each other, you don’t have to date forty different people, call singles’ lines, sign-on with online dating services, or enroll as a member of dating clubs in your area in order to find the right person for you.

You don’t need to consult Miss Cleo to find your God-sent. You don’t need to browse the horoscope section of your local newspaper via your alleged zodiac sign to figure out who is best for you. You don’t need to be a guest in a day time talk show to hook up with your childhood sweetheart. It’s not necessary for you to audition for a spot in reality dating shows in order to get hitched. And you certainly don’t need to interview various individuals under the guise of a date, and check right or wrong on your mental notepad as a stamp of approval or disapproval—and a means of screening out your prospects and narrowing them down to the right person for you.

You might argue that although the good book doesn’t say anything about dating, it doesn’t say that it is wrong, either. I concur. Dating is not wrong; sometimes, it might just be a waste of time—except, if you date the right person first. This will help you save some sleep, gas mileage, cell phone minutes, dollars, and maybe even your sanity. You’ll probably also save yourself from unnecessary disappointments, time for project deadlines or school assignments, professions of love, and of course—your pick up lines, if you date the right person the first time out.

The only way you can accomplish that, though, is to make God your first date. It’s best that you date God first because He’s the guide to finding the right mate for your life. Not only is He your guide, He’s also the best lover. He is love. As you date Him and allow Him to woo you with His love, He shows you true love which enlightens you on what to look for in a prospect, what to expect from him or her, and how to radiate this same love to the person. Besides, if you’re into blind dates, you couldn’t have a better blind date. He puts a new meaning to the concept of a blind date—since you can’t see God when on a date with Him. Also, God is a “hot” date. You can’t get any date hotter than God because He’s a consuming fire.³⁹

By dating God I mean seeking Him, getting to know Him, and spending time with Him. You build your relationship with Him by reading and adhering to His words in His book. Dating God includes attending and committing yourself to a good Bible-based local church where you listen to and learn from your Pastor and peers in Bible study or other “extrachurchicular” functions. And perhaps, other ministries on radio, television and internet broadcasts. You also date God by communicating and complimenting Him through prayers and songs of praise and worship. This is somewhat similar to how couples often communicate and compliment each other during a date.

Although people are encouraged to come out of the closet, I suggest that you go into yours, and pray, cultivating your date with God.⁴⁰ Your prayer closet could be your walk-in closet. It could be your room, a quiet spot under the shade of a tree in your favorite park, or your car if you have one. It could also be a rich, green, neatly, mowed lawn juxtaposed to a lake, where you feel God’s breeze blow softly through your Jerry curls, greasy fade, corn rows, wig, weave, dreadlocks, receding hairline or afro, which might still have a comb in it. Or blow through braided, blonde, black, red, or brunette hair that may or may not need a touch of Vidal Sassoon.

God is the best date and lover that you can ever have. He is never late for a date. He never stands you up. He always knows what’s on your mind, even before you tell Him, if you tell Him. You don’t have to wear a special attire to impress Him. He accepts you just as you are. But after dating Him, He won’t leave you as you are. He never embarrasses you by being unmannerly or obnoxious during your date with Him. He never ignores you, neither does he disrespect and demean you by blatantly checking out others while on a date with you. This is the best part: He always picks up the tab. Actually, He already picked up the tab on the cross.

He is always available to talk to you. You can call Him anytime, any day and anywhere. Sixty seconds a minute, sixty minutes an hour, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, fifty-two weeks a year. He never puts you on hold although you might feel like He does, especially when you’re waiting for your mate amongst other “seemingly” unanswered prayers. He’s the only lover that does not mind you having an affair with someone else. As long as that someone else is the mate He gave you in marriage. He’s the only lover that allows you to express the love He lavished on you to the person He gave you. He even instructs you on how to treat the mate He brought to you. If you have any problem with your mate, He’s the only one that can help you solve it. He said:

Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? (Matthew 6:25 NKJV)

Jesus tells us not to worry about basic necessities like clothes to wear and food to eat. He acknowledges that life is more than these things. Life has to do with everything that concerns you. Everything that has to do with your total existence, which must also include the person that you’ll be living the rest of your life with.

In addition to concerns about those basic needs of life, He’s also saying that you should not worry about your mate. He knows you need somebody, but don’t worry about who that person is, where that person is, and when you would meet and establish your relationship with that person. Thus, the scriptures read:

…If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. (Matthew 6:30-33 MSG)

God already knows what you need, but what does He tell you to do? Seek Him first, or should I say date Him first. After doing this then everything else, which must also include your mate would be added to you. He knows you need somebody in your life, but seek Him first, date Him first, get to know Him first, and He’ll add that person to you. Always keep in mind that He’s your guide to your mate.

When you seek God’s kingdom, you allow God the King to have dominion over you. In doing so, He calls the shots. You yield to His proficiency in directing you according to His will, and offer him the liberty to have control of your life. When you let Him direct you in line with His purpose, He’s able to lead you to the right person courtesy of your full cooperation with Him. During your date with Him He reveals more of Himself to you. He gives you guidelines that’ll help you identify the person He reserved for you. He implores you not to get involved with someone who does not believe in Him. If you’re a man He commends you to look out for a woman who’s virtuous, not promiscuous, hardworking and reverences Him. A woman who’s gracious, excellent, wise, and expresses an attitude of servant hood. A woman who has good understanding and is beautiful to you.⁴¹

If you’re a woman He advises you to look for a man after His own heart. Since you dated God you should know His heart and desire for you. You utilize this information to discern any man that comes your way. God admonishes you to look out for a man that is Christ-like, valorous and faithful. He instructs you to look out for a just man, not just a man. A man of wisdom, understanding, vision and integrity. A man who’s prayerful, you’re attracted to, and of course, employed.⁴²

And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19 NKJV)

God already knows your needs. He also supplies them. These needs include having someone to love you and be loved by you. They include having someone to be married to. Someone who’s open to your thoughts, soothes your hurts, protects your heart, and encourages your desires. Someone who does not berate you for your failures, celebrates your triumphs, appreciates your time, dime and feelings. Someone who beams at your smile, empathizes with your tears, and embraces your idiosyncrasies.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. (Proverbs 3:5-6 NLT)

As you spend time with God and get to know Him you learn to trust Him. You learn not to depend on your understanding of the ideal person for you, but acknowledge Him in everything you do. You completely depend on Him to direct your path to the person He intends for you. You should let Him be responsible for finding the right person for you because anybody can claim, perpetrate to be, and look like the right person for you.

Lots of people claim to be loyal and loving, but where on earth can you find one? (Proverbs 20:6 MSG)

1. O. J. Toks, While You Are Single (Paoli, PA: Elevator Group Faith, 2016), 57 – 61.