I remember that day like it was yesterday. On a Wednesday night, several years ago, I was about to express my feelings to a lady that I had been interested in for a few months. She fit the profile. She was a Christian. She loved God, loved people, served in church and demonstrated a Godly lifestyle; and oh, I almost forgot … she was hot!

She looked like the one, smelled like the one, and talked like the one; even the birds were singing that she was the one. Before I approached her, I went to God first. I simply prayed that if she was my mate He should make it all work out. If not, I prayed that the relationship would not even start. Moments before speaking to her, my heart was beating like a stop watch. Butterflies were doing the tango in my stomach. Despite my nervousness I still shared my feelings with her.

I was right. She was the one; but she was the one for another guy. She turned me down. I was disappointed. Nevertheless, I concluded that it was for the best and managed to move on. About two years later, I developed feelings for another prospect. Perhaps she was the one. She also fit the profile. You know the works: active in church, loved people, loved God, seemed to live right and she was attractive.

Again, I prayed to God for His will to be done. Then I went to speak to her. Unfortunately … oops, I mean, fortunately, she rebuffed my attempt to get to know her. I felt she blew me off. I was ticked off. I shouldn’t have been upset because I had already laid my plans on the altar. It turned out that she simply was not interested in me.

In both cases, I was rejected. Since I had prayed to God about my intentions before approaching the women, I concluded that God allowed the women to refuse me because neither was meant to be my mate. Equally as true was the fact that I wasn’t the one for them either. This experience inspired me to check my heart, my attitude, and my readiness to be in a relationship. I decided, in the grand scheme of God’s perfect plan, this had to be a win-win for all.

I know it sounds odd to view rejection in a positive light. I believe, however, that God employs rejection for our benefit. I believe this so much so that I embarked on a journey to find out how rejection can be a good thing. In this quest, I found out that rejection is actually a gold mine. I discovered that many people who are successful in life were rejected. Not only were they refused, but the rebuff was the catalyst for their success.

Many a woman is crying out for her Boaz, the quintessential Godly man who is wealthy, influential and typifies Christ. I would suspect that if a lady wanted to end up with a guy like Boaz, she’d need to do what Ruth did to snag him. If I asked ladies what drew Boaz to Ruth, I’d probably hear the usual responses: she was virtuous, humble, feared God, obedient, faithful, obtained God’s favor and so forth. All true. But if I asked Ruth what it took for her to end up with Boaz ­— what it was that sealed the deal — without disregarding the relevance of the aforementioned virtues, I wouldn’t be surprised if she referred to one experience which was the icing on the cake of her character.

If you’re familiar with Boaz and Ruth’s story, you’ll remember when Ruth met Boaz at the threshing floor. Do you recall their exchange? Ruth asked Boaz to be her kinsman redeemer or close relative (as some other translations phrase it). Boaz agreed to her request, but mentioned that there was another redeemer who was next in line and ahead of him to marry her. Boaz told Ruth that he would approach the man and ask him to redeem her (Ruth 3:6-13 NIV).

Boaz went to meet with the other redeemer. He first asked the man to redeem her property, which she inherited from her deceased husband’s family. The man agreed (Ruth 4:1-4). Then he asked the man to marry Ruth. The man refused (Ruth 4:5-6). Bingo! Ruth ended up with Boaz because the other man refused to marry her. Ruth trekked the road less travelled inside rejection to end up with the man God chose for her. Had the other man not rejected Ruth, she wouldn’t have ended up with Boaz. She wouldn’t have been David’s grandma, and she wouldn’t have been in Jesus’ ancestry.

That account is why I suspect that Ruth would have said her experience of rejection was what helped her marry Boaz. Some of the details of the rebuff Ruth experienced explain how God uses rejection for us. The close relative agreed to redeem Ruth’s family inheritance, but he refused to marry Ruth. He wanted her property, but he didn’t want her. Ladies, does that sound familiar? Have you ever run into a guy who wants your property … your body, but doesn’t want you? God uses rejection to get you away from a guy who only wants what you inherited from your mum to a guy who wants all of you.

Furthermore, as an Israelite, the close relative was a child of God just like Boaz. As a kinsman redeemer, he was like Boaz. This man was related to Boaz. He was similar to Boaz; but, he was not Boaz. Ladies often stumble into a guy that looks like Boaz or seems like God’s best for them. Like the close relative, they run into a guy who is “closely related” to the kind of man they are praying for, then conclude that he is the one for them.

The fact that the guy was ahead of Boaz in the pecking order speaks volumes. This alludes to how some women end up believing that the first Christian man that crosses their path is their mate. When faced with this situation how can you avoid a Boaz look-alike who leads the pack and navigate to the man that God intends for you? Sometimes God allows you to be rejected by the impostor in order to redirect you to your Boaz. And when the road of rejection leads you to him, he might not be wealthy and influential like the biblical Boaz, but he will be Christ-like, responsible, and right for you.

If you’re like Ruth: you’re loving, faithful, virtuous, humble, compassionate and fear God, and yet, you feel like Christian men are ignoring you or turning you down — be of good cheer. You’re not being set back. You’re being setup for your Boaz. Wipe your tears. Raise your head. Shake off any shame that the enemy may have tried to implant in your head about your worth. You’re God’s prized jewel being preserved for the right man for your life.