Let me tell you a story that came to me a while ago. There was a guy who wanted to find  a Godly woman to marry. He asked himself where he could find such a woman. He concluded that church was the best place to find such a lady. So, he proceeded to go to church. He didn’t go to church to have a relationship with God. He didn’t go to church to develop his character. He only went to church to find a woman. 

Guess what? He found a woman. They began a relationship. But it was a disaster. He was disappointed and disgusted with the woman he ended up with. Consequently, he concluded that church women were fake. There was also another woman who was interested in finding a Godly man. She asked herself where she could find such a man. She also arrived at the conclusion that church was the best place for her to snag a decent man. So, she went to church. 

She didn’t go to church to cultivate a relationship with Jesus. She didn’t go to church to develop her character. She simply went to church to find a man. Guess what? She found a man and they began a relationship. Unfortunately for her, the relationship went south fast. She was disappointed and devastated by the relationship. She could not believe that she found a man like that in church. Consequently, she concluded that church men were hypocrites. Well, it turned out that the man whom she found and had a terrible relationship with, was the other man who was also looking for a woman in church. This story reminds me of what author and leadership expert, Dr. John Maxwell, describes as the law of magnetism: 

Who you attract is not determined by what you want. It’s determined by who you are.51 

In the movie, Runaway Bride, not knowing herself was the main reason why Julia  Robert’s character, Maggie Carpenter, kept running away from the altar. It was after she found herself that she ended up with the right mate for her life. In the same vein, before you can run into the love of your life, you need to run into yourself first. The fastest way for you to find the right person is to look in the mirror. If you don’t know yourself, not only are you susceptible to ending up with the wrong person, you are also susceptible to missing out on the right person. 

If you know what is right this will help you know who is right. If you don’t know what is  right then you won’t know who is right for you. Having a relationship with God will not only  help you know what is right and know who is right for you, but it will also help you be right.

1. O. J. Toks, While You Are Single (Paoli, PA: Elevator Group Faith, 2015), 99-100.