Tag Archives: self control

Are You Sure You’re in Love?

While You Are Single Podcast, , ,

What is love? I once heard a celebrity say that love is when you close your eyes and you see the face of the person you love. What happens when you close your eyes again, but you don’t see the person’s face anymore? What happens when your eyes are wide open, but you don’t want to see the person’s face?

I’ve also heard that love is that feeling you get in your belly. You know that feeling. The sensation that I’ve heard some people say they feel in their gut when they are around the object of their affection. Sometimes I wonder if that feeling is gas. Nothing a little Pepto Bismol can’t take care of.

Yes, I understand the euphoria that often accompanies love. I also acknowledge that there is a romantic aspect of love. A part of love that is necessary for healthy and lasting, Godly relationships. But do feelings define genuine love? Or does genuine love define feelings? While I know that there is more to love than we can comprehend, I recently addressed the subject briefly in the While You Are Single podcast. You can listen to the three-part series below:

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How God Uses Rejection to Help You Find and Fulfill Your Destiny

Fatal Attraction Part 3

Inspirational,

Just like the rulers of the Philistines employed Delilah to weaken Samson, the devil employs lust to weaken the church or a Christian. He employs lust to entice us and expose our weaknesses by drawing us away from our strengths, so that the he can overpower us, bind us, and afflict us. The Philistine leaders paid money to Delilah to deceive Samson. Similarly lust is affiliated with money. That’s why the love, or better still, the lust of money, not money, is the root of all evil (1 Timothy 6:10).

Lust is controlled by money. Love controls money. Lust uses money as a tool to bind you. Love uses money as a tool to set you free.

Then she said to him, “How can you say, ‘I love you,’ when your heart is not with me? You have mocked me these three times, and have not told me where your great strength lies.” And it came to pass, when she pestered him daily with her words and pressed him, so that his soul was vexed to death, that he told her all his heart, and said to her, “No razor has ever come upon my head, for I have been a Nazirite to God from my mother’s womb. If I am shaven, then my strength will leave me, and I shall become weak, and be like any other man.” When Delilah saw that he had told her all his heart, she sent and called for the lords of the Philistines, saying, “Come up once more, for he has told me all his heart.” So the Lords of the Philistines came up to her and brought the money in their hand (Judges 16:15-18 NKJV).

Did you notice the back and forth between Delilah and Samson (Judges 16:1-18)? That’s how lust is with us too. We may go back and forth in fighting against the lusts of our flesh, and if we’re like Samson we’ll eventually give up and give in to our fleshly desires. And this will be fatal. Samson was with the wrong person and in the wrong place. He was at a disadvantage. We can’t continue hanging out with the wrong friends and going to environments where there are strong temptations that stimulate our lusts, and not expect to succumb to our desires.

Jesus said we should pray not to enter into temptation. Some of us are willing to do right but our flesh is weak. You might be willing to live right, but you can’t continue going to the wrong environment and hanging out with the wrong people without entering temptation. Our flesh is weak, thanks to its lusts. Samson succumbed and he was weakened.

Delilah or Lust pestered him, pressured him, and pressed him. It manipulated him. That’s the same thing lust does to you and I. Our lusts pester, pressure, depress and manipulate us. They make us feel guilty. It messes with our minds and causes us to give up what is important to us. Some have lost their virtue, dignity and credibility because of lust.

Lust is aggressive. Love is submissive. Lust is desperate. Love is temperate. Lust makes you feel guilty. Love makes you free. Lust manipulates. Love motivates. Lust takes advantage of you. Love gives you the advantage. Lust takes. Love gives.

Then she lulled him to sleep on her knees, and called for a man and had him shave off the seven locks of his head. Then she began to torment him, and his strength left him (Judges 16:19 NKJV).

Lust lulls you to sleep. When we are under the spell of lust, we become desensitized to what is happening to us. We gradually go in a downward spiral. By the time we discover what is happening to us we are rock bottom. Sometimes when people start out indulging in their lusts they are still able to function normally. But there comes a point where their lusts have taken so much control over them that they are not able to do business as usual. In Samson’s case he thought that he could just jump up like he did at other times and break himself free; but, he was given a rude awakening. Lust had stolen his strength.

And she said, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!” So he awoke from his sleep, and said, “I will go out as before, at other times, and shake myself free!” But he did not know that the LORD had departed from him (Judges 16:20 NKJV).

Lust also torments us. Since fear torments and faith works in love, it’s safe to conclude that fear works in lust. Love energizes faith. Lust energizes fear. Perfect love casts out fear, but lust invites fear. Love is not blind. Lust is. See what it did to Samson. It led to his blindness. Lust blinds you and binds you.

Then the Philistines took him and put out his eyes, and brought him to Gaza. They bound him with bronze fetters, and he became a grinder in the prison (Judges 16:21 NKJV).

 Notice where Samson ended up? He ended up in Gaza, in bondage, grinding. I believe Gaza was a turning point in his downward spiral.

However, the hair of his head began to grow again after it had been shaven (Judges 16:22 NKJV).

And he judged Israel twenty years in the days of the Philistines (Judges 15:20 NKJV). 

So it happened, when their hearts were merry, that they said, “Call for Samson, that he may perform for us.” So they called for Samson from the prison, and he performed for them. And they stationed him between the pillars. Then Samson said to the lad who held him by the hand, “Let me feel the pillars which support the temple, so that I can lean on them.”

Now the temple was full of men and women. All the lords of the Philistines were there—about three thousand men and women on the roof watching while Samson performed. Then Samson called to the LORD, saying, “O Lord GOD, remember me, I pray! Strengthen me, I pray, just this once, O God, that I may with one blow take vengeance on the Philistines for my two eyes!” And Samson took hold of the two middle pillars which supported the temple, and he braced himself against them, one on his right and the other on his left.  

Then Samson said, “Let me die with the Philistines!” And he pushed with all his might, and the temple fell on the lords and all the people who were in it. So the dead that he killed at his death were more than he had killed in his life.  And his brothers and all his father’s household came down and took him, and brought him up and buried him between Zorah and Eshtaol in the tomb of his father Manoah. He had judged Israel twenty years (Judges 16:25-32 NKJV).

Notice that Samson was judging Israel for 20 years before he met Delilah. After he met her, and died, he judged Israel for 20 years. In essence, he was doing fine until he met Delilah, and his ministry ended up abruptly. Lust will cut your life and ministry short. Lust can cause you to lose your marriage, relationship, business, scholarship or job abruptly! Just like that. You might have been doing well for a while and then all of a sudden the bottom falls out. That’s what lust can do to us. It did for Samson. He led Israel for 20 years. He hooked up with Delilah, and his ministry, leadership and tenure in office ended shortly after.

Perhaps you’re familiar with a part that I skipped in the story. His hair began to grow back. He prayed to God to give him strength. He asked a lad to place his hands on two pillars while people were watching him entertain them. And he pushed the pillars and brought the building down to kill everyone, including himself. In his prayer, he asked God to let him die with the people. I don’t believe God answered him because the Bible did not mention anything about God responding to him.

Notwithstanding, his strength was connected to his hair; and the Bible clearly revealed that his hair was growing back. The last point, however, that I want to make about lust is that it’s suicidal. Samson killed others and killed himself. Lust can lead to suicide. Violence, jealousy, dissension (strong disagreements) are also lusts of the flesh.

Fatal Attraction Part 2

Inspirational, ,

How God Uses Rejection to Help You Find and Fulfill Your DestinyDavid is another example of someone who got high on LSD; Lust, Sin and Death. When kings were at war I believe lust drew him away from the battlefield to the rooftop of his house, to indulge in watching Bathsheba taking her bath. That lust led him to sin with her by committing adultery. That then led to the death of her husband, which took place when David connived with the leader of his troops to place her husband, Uriah, in the area where the battle was heated. It also led to the death of the child conceived through the adultery, since David was judged for his transgression (2 Samuel 11).

The parable of the sower is another example of lust at work. The story is narrated in Mark 4. Jesus said a sower went out to sow some seeds, which represent God’s word. Some fell by the way side, and birds came and ate them up. Some fell on stony ground, and came up quickly. But because they were not deeply rooted, when the sun came up they were scorched and yielded no fruit. Some fell among thorns and were choked by the thorns. Some fell on good ground and yielded fruit, some 30, some 60, and some 100 fold.

I’ll like us to focus on the third ground; the one with thorns. Mark’s version of the story describes the thorns as the deceitfulness of riches and the desire for other things. They choke the word. I believe those desires are lusts. The lusts for other things drew the recipient of the seed from God’s seed or Word, and it choked the life out of the word, and it did not bear fruit. There was death. Lust, sin, death.

And the ones sown among the thorns are others who hear the Word; Then the cares and anxieties of the world and distractions of the age, and the pleasure and delight and false glamour and deceitfulness of riches, and the craving and passionate desire for other things creep in and choke and suffocate the Word, and it becomes fruitless (Mark 4:18-19 AMP).

A great story that gives us a picture of what the fatal attraction of lust can do to us is the story of Samson and Delilah. Their story is awesome in demonstrating lust because Young’s concordance translates the meaning of Delilah as languishing. Strong’s translates the meaning of Delilah as lustful. One might ask “why the difference?” Well, to languish means to pine away with longing or desire. It also means to become weak or feeble.

Lust makes you pine away with longing or desire. It makes you weak or feeble just like a drug addict or alcoholic is weakened, or loses their passion for life. A prisoner is languishing in prison when the individual emaciates and loses their passion for life. That is what lust does to you and I. That’s why I believe Strong’s simply described Delilah as lustful. With this in mind, let’s look at their story.

One day Samson went to the Philistine town of Gaza and spent the night with a prostitute (Judges 16:1 NLT).

Being under the control of lust usually doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a gradual process. Usually two factors contribute to us getting into the stronghold of lust. They are a person and a place. Either you go to a person who takes you to that place, or a place takes you to that person. By person, I mean someone that will influence you. By a place, I mean an environment. Usually a person will take you to an environment where your lust is stimulated, or you go to an environment and meet someone who can cause you to yield to your lust.

That person could be a friend or an acquaintance. That place could be a bar, club, dorm room, someone’s apartment or some other environment. That place could be a room and that person could be an individual on the flat screen or x rated magazine. In other words someone in a seductive or pornographic display.

In Samson’s case he went to Gaza where he met a prostitute. Gaza means strong place. Sometimes when we are in a “Gaza,” a strong place, we fall prey to strong holds. In Gaza, the place, he meets a prostitute, the person, and fulfilled his lust. This led him to more lust:

Afterward it happened that he loved a woman in the Valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah. And the Lords of the Philistines came up to her and said, “Entice him, and find out where his great strength lies, and by what means we may overpower him, that we may bind him to afflict him; and every one of us will give you eleven hundred pieces of silver.” So Delilah said to Samson, “Please tell me where your great strength lies, and with what you may be bound to afflict you.” (Judges 16:4-6 NKJV)

So Samson ends up loving Delilah or having a desire for “lustful”; or someone that will make him weak or languish since Delilah means lustful or languishing. Delilah asked Samson where his strength lay and how he could be bound. She asked him upfront what could be done to him to put him in bondage. Similarly, when we indulge in things that we know can put us in bondage, then we can know that we are under the influence of lust. Lust pretty much tells you it’s going to harm you. When we give in to desires that we know ahead of time that are not good for us, then we know we are under the influence of lust.

Notice that the Lord’s of the Philistines bribed Delilah to discover Samson’s strength so that they could put him in bondage. In the Old Testament, the Philistines were the enemies of the Israelites. Goliath was a Philistine that was killed by David, the Israelite. The Philistines are symbolic of the enemy, and the Israelites are symbolic of the church. The Lords or rulers of the Philistines are symbolic of principalities, powers, spiritual wickedness, and rulers of the darkness of this age; all of which are under the power of the main enemy, the devil (Ephesians 6:10-13).