Category Archives: Inspirational

Don’t Judge a Package By its Wrap

How God Uses Rejection to Help You Find and Fulfill Your Destiny
A friend of mine once told me about a surprise that was sprung on her. My friend, Zichi, is a heartwarming singer. She had a desire to learn and play the guitar. She prayed to God to help her get a guitar. Her preciseness to hit the right notes when singing, also extended to her choice of guitar.

She didn’t just want any guitar; she wanted a specific kind of guitar—one that cost quite a bit of money. While she prayed to God to help her acquire such a guitar, she also worked and saved money for her musical instrument. For Christmas, she was given a surprise gift. A few of her friends and her sister contributed some money, bought her a gift, and wrapped it in a package.

By the size and shape of the package she could tell that they surprised her with a guitar. However, deep down, in her heart she wasn’t too excited about the gift. The wrap around her package was the wrap for a cheap guitar she didn’t want. What could she do? She had to show some gratitude for what was done for her.

She opened her package, and to her surprise and delight, she discovered that they bought her the guitar she had been praying for. We both agreed that her experience reinforced the wisdom in not judging a book by its cover—in this case, a package by its wrap. Sadly, that’s what many of us do. It’s my understanding that marketing specialists exploit this flaw in decision-making to sell products.

Why do you think celebrities, attractive individuals, and eye-catching ads are used to lure us to buy products? More often than not, we are influenced to buy a product, not because of its attributes, but because of the attributes of the celebrity endorsing it. When it comes to buying paper towels, carpet cleaners or other household products, accepting or rejecting these items based on their appearance and endorsements might not be disastrous.

The same, however, cannot be said when it comes to people. I can’t imagine how many men and women have suffered unnecessarily by getting into relationships simply because they were captivated by the looks of the person they got involved with. How many businesses have gone south because the hiring managers chose the wrong candidate because the individual’s charisma and fabricated resume dazzled them in the interview?

Many a woman has ended up in a mess because she wanted a guy who looked like Brad Pitt. And after the look-alike got what he wanted from her, he left her in a bad pit. Many men want a lady who looks like Halle Berry, Megan Fox or Kim Kardashian. They wanted a bombshell, but when the bomb exploded they were left shattered with the debris of their lives scattered everywhere.

Of course, God can bless you with an individual with good character who is as attractive as the aforementioned celebrities. The point I’m making is that sometimes we’re too quick to choose someone “solely” on their looks. We give the wrong people a promotion, a seat on the board, a position as a business partner, a place in the church’s leadership, a significant place in our hearts just because they catch our eyes and tickle our fancies.

Don’t judge a book by its cover; judge it by the writings in its chapters. Don’t judge a package by its wrap; judge it by the package in the wrap. Don’t judge a person by the color of her pupil, the chisel of his physique, the texture and length of her hair, the brand of his clothes or her outfit. Judge them by their character.

Integrity cannot be deduced at first sight. Authenticity cannot be ascertained on impulse. Godly wisdom and discernment is necessary to help us make informed decisions. Even the prophet Samuel, one of his kind, though briefly and inconsequentially, fell prey to making the wrong judgment call based on looks.

After Saul, Israel’s first king, was relieved of his position, God asked Samuel to go to the house of a man named Jesse to appoint one of his son’s as the next king (1 Samuel 16:1). Jesse had eight sons. When Samuel arrived at Jesse’s house, after seeing Eliab, Jesse’s eldest, Samuel presumed that Eliab was God’s chosen. Eliab looked the part. But the Prophet, Samuel, was wrong. God redirected him to David, the youngest, whom prophet and parent overlooked for the position. In correcting Samuel’s error God made a statement that encapsulates the theme of this writing: 

But the Lord told him, “Samuel, don’t think Eliab is the one just because he’s tall and handsome. He isn’t the one I’ve chosen. People judge others by what they look like, but I judge people by what is in their hearts.” (1 Samuel 16:7 CEV)

Interestingly, later on, Eliab, whom Samuel mistook for God’s appointee, criticized David when he came to inquire about a battle between the Israelites and the Philistines (1 Samuel 17:22-28). Eliab was part of the Israelite army. David was not. Goliath was the Philistines’ top fighter. He breathed threats against the Israelite troops, and all the Israelite soldiers, including Eliab, where quaking in their boots (1 Samuel 17:4-11). David, the overlooked choice, took care of Goliath (1 Samuel 17:32-51). Something Eliab, the obvious choice, couldn’t do.

Who would have thought that a ruddy-looking teenage boy with no military experience, whose pastime was playing the harp and singing in harmony with the bleating of sheep, would kick Goliath’s butt (1 Samuel 16:11-12, 23)? Have this in mind when you’re tempted to overlook a potential employee because he or she does not have a ginormous resume, or when the lady or gentleman you could develop a relationship with doesn’t look like Salma Hayek or Denzel.

Don’t just dismiss someone who could potentially transform your life, turnaround your business, propel your ministry, make your heart flutter, or help you fulfill your destiny, just because the person’s appearance does not give you goose pimples. Discern wisely. Ask God for help. Allow His wisdom to enter your heart, and His knowledge of the person’s character to be pleasant to your soul. So that discretion preserves you, and His understanding keeps you from making the wrong decision (Proverbs 2:6-15).

In the words of John C. Maxwell:

People are like icebergs. There is much more to them than meets the eye.

Would you care to share a time that you made a decision based solely on the appearance of a person or a product? How did your decision turn out?

The Road Less Travelled to the Right Mate Part 2

It’s not just the ladies that travel the road of rejection to the man for their lives. Gentlemen, sometimes we travel that road, too. Esther serves as a prime candidate of a Godly woman. But how can we end up with a lady like Esther? I bet King Xerxes would agree that rejection can help us accomplish this. Perhaps you’re familiar with his story.

King Xerxes throws a party for his officials and servants. He asks for Vashti, his Queen, to grace the occasion (Esther 1:1-11 ESV). She refused (Esther 1:12). He was embarrassed and angry — so much so that his advisors counseled him to dethrone her and find someone else better than her (Esther 1:16-22). He adhered to their directives and began to search for someone better. That’s how he ended up with Esther. The snub Xerxes experienced from Vashti opened the door for him to find and end up with Esther.

The significance of Vashti and Esther’s names and their stories give us more glimpses on why God uses rejection to help us find our mates. Vashti means “beautiful”; Esther means “star.” Vashti makes her cameo in the first chapter of Esther. But Esther shows up in chapter two of her own book. Their initial intros into their respective chapters pertain directly to who they were. The women are in sharp contrast to each other. Vashti is the Queen. She is beautiful. She begins as royalty. In contrast, we hear of Hadassah, who lost her parents. She’s a peasant. She starts off with tragedy.

How is this significant? Well, many of us guys make bad choices when choosing women. Ladies, please, you don’t have to say “duuuh.” Vashti represents the girl that first gets our attention. She’s the girl that stands out in the crowd. She’s appealing, glamorous, and catches our eyes first. She’s the girl the guys are talking about. She’s the girl overshadowing Esther. Vashti is the dominating figure that shows up first in chapter one. Yet, Esther first shows up in chapter two … her own book.

Esther is the decent, Godly woman who doesn’t stand out in the beginning. She’s the faithful, God-fearing lady who does not appeal to you the first time you see her. She is the girl you side-step and overlook because you’re distracted and infatuated with Vashti. Esther is the girl you should be falling over yourself to go out with. But because she doesn’t stand out to you the first time you see her, you dismiss her, and bend over backwards to go out with Vashti. And of course, Vashti ends up breaking your heart. That’s if she did not blow you off in the first place.

Vashti is beautiful, but Esther is a star. All stars are beautiful but all beautiful people are not stars. The light of Christ resonates in the Esthers of this world. They shine. They illuminate any darkness around you, like Esther exposed the darkness of the doorkeepers who wanted to kill Xerxes and the deceitfulness of Haman, who wanted to annihilate the Jews (Esther 2:21-23; 7:1-10).

Esther is the diamond in the rough. Guys, if you want the diamond, you need to go through the rough to get her. If you just spent time with Hadassah, the girl that is a shining light but does not appeal to you on first impression, you might discover that she is indeed a star. Esther. You’ll find out that there is more to her than meets the eye. You’ll discover that she’s not just Hadassah; she’s Esther, and she far outshines Vashti. Investing time to know her will offer you the opportunity to discern this and see her reflect the diamond that she is.

Some of us guys don’t have that wisdom. That’s why God hires rejection to tutor us. Please no offense to you ladies who go by the name “Vashti.” It’s a beautiful name. Notwithstanding I’m just using her as a representation of the kind of woman some of us guys fall prey to. I’m also unearthing nuggets from her interaction with the king.

Esther woos her king and husband while Vashti brings woe to him (Esther 1:17-18; 5:1-8; 7:1). Vashti’s action could have also incited other women to bring reproach to their husbands (Esther 1:17-18).

Gentlemen, God uses rejection to get you from a lady who ignores you to another lady who wants to be with you. He uses rejection to get you from a lady who is selfish to another lady who is selfless. He uses it to deliver you from a lady who throws a party for herself to a lady who throws a party for you (Esther 1:9; 5:1-8; 7:1). Rejection is used to get you from a lady who seeks her own interests, embarrasses you, and does not want to be in your presence to a lady who seeks, not only your interests, but the interests of others, honors you, and seeks God with prayer and fasting to find favor in your eyes (Esther 4:16).

Guys, how many of us have sense enough to discern such a rare gem? Not many of us. So, God employs rejection to assist us. My friend, has someone been coming up in your mind since I’ve been describing Esther? And, even Vashti? Can you relate with King Xerxes? Are you a man of influence and a man of God? Are you one of the few good men who’s been rebuffed by women and wondering why this is happening to you when you’re living and doing right?

Be encouraged, my man. God is just setting you up for your Esther. She might not be a queen, a leader, or a person on whom the hopes of a nation rest. But she will honor, appreciate, celebrate and pray for you. She will seek God on your behalf. She will protect you. She will bring out the best in you, like Esther did for Xerxes. Sometimes, the way to that kind of woman is the road less travelled.

The rejections I experienced set me on the course to learn these truths. Ladies and gentlemen, rejection is not a wall that blocks your path; it’s an arrow that directs it. Being rejected is not the end of your life; it’s just a means to an end for your life. And that end is your destiny. So, be encouraged to know that God is using your rebuffs to get you from someone who does not belong to you to someone who will be longing for you.

The Road Less Travelled to the Right Mate Part 1

How God Uses Rejection to Help You Find and Fulfill Your DestinyI remember that day like it was yesterday. On a Wednesday night, several years ago, I was about to express my feelings to a lady that I had been interested in for a few months. She fit the profile. She was a Christian. She loved God, loved people, served in church and demonstrated a Godly lifestyle; and oh, I almost forgot … she was hot!

She looked like the one, smelled like the one, and talked like the one; even the birds were singing that she was the one. Before I approached her, I went to God first. I simply prayed that if she was my mate He should make it all work out. If not, I prayed that the relationship would not even start. Moments before speaking to her, my heart was beating like a stop watch. Butterflies were doing the tango in my stomach. Despite my nervousness I still shared my feelings with her.

I was right. She was the one; but she was the one for another guy. She turned me down. I was disappointed. Nevertheless, I concluded that it was for the best and managed to move on. About two years later, I developed feelings for another prospect. Perhaps she was the one. She also fit the profile. You know the works: active in church, loved people, loved God, seemed to live right and she was attractive.

Again, I prayed to God for His will to be done. Then I went to speak to her. Unfortunately … oops, I mean, fortunately, she rebuffed my attempt to get to know her. I felt she blew me off. I was ticked off. I shouldn’t have been upset because I had already laid my plans on the altar. It turned out that she simply was not interested in me.

In both cases, I was rejected. Since I had prayed to God about my intentions before approaching the women, I concluded that God allowed the women to refuse me because neither was meant to be my mate. Equally as true was the fact that I wasn’t the one for them either. This experience inspired me to check my heart, my attitude, and my readiness to be in a relationship. I decided, in the grand scheme of God’s perfect plan, this had to be a win-win for all.

I know it sounds odd to view rejection in a positive light. I believe, however, that God employs rejection for our benefit. I believe this so much so that I embarked on a journey to find out how rejection can be a good thing. In this quest, I found out that rejection is actually a gold mine. I discovered that many people who are successful in life were rejected. Not only were they refused, but the rebuff was the catalyst for their success.

Many a woman is crying out for her Boaz, the quintessential Godly man who is wealthy, influential and typifies Christ. I would suspect that if a lady wanted to end up with a guy like Boaz, she’d need to do what Ruth did to snag him. If I asked ladies what drew Boaz to Ruth, I’d probably hear the usual responses: she was virtuous, humble, feared God, obedient, faithful, obtained God’s favor and so forth. All true. But if I asked Ruth what it took for her to end up with Boaz ­— what it was that sealed the deal — without disregarding the relevance of the aforementioned virtues, I wouldn’t be surprised if she referred to one experience which was the icing on the cake of her character.

If you’re familiar with Boaz and Ruth’s story, you’ll remember when Ruth met Boaz at the threshing floor. Do you recall their exchange? Ruth asked Boaz to be her kinsman redeemer or close relative (as some other translations phrase it). Boaz agreed to her request, but mentioned that there was another redeemer who was next in line and ahead of him to marry her. Boaz told Ruth that he would approach the man and ask him to redeem her (Ruth 3:6-13 NIV).

Boaz went to meet with the other redeemer. He first asked the man to redeem her property, which she inherited from her deceased husband’s family. The man agreed (Ruth 4:1-4). Then he asked the man to marry Ruth. The man refused (Ruth 4:5-6). Bingo! Ruth ended up with Boaz because the other man refused to marry her. Ruth trekked the road less travelled inside rejection to end up with the man God chose for her. Had the other man not rejected Ruth, she wouldn’t have ended up with Boaz. She wouldn’t have been David’s grandma, and she wouldn’t have been in Jesus’ ancestry.

That account is why I suspect that Ruth would have said her experience of rejection was what helped her marry Boaz. Some of the details of the rebuff Ruth experienced explain how God uses rejection for us. The close relative agreed to redeem Ruth’s family inheritance, but he refused to marry Ruth. He wanted her property, but he didn’t want her. Ladies, does that sound familiar? Have you ever run into a guy who wants your property … your body, but doesn’t want you? God uses rejection to get you away from a guy who only wants what you inherited from your mum to a guy who wants all of you.

Furthermore, as an Israelite, the close relative was a child of God just like Boaz. As a kinsman redeemer, he was like Boaz. This man was related to Boaz. He was similar to Boaz; but, he was not Boaz. Ladies often stumble into a guy that looks like Boaz or seems like God’s best for them. Like the close relative, they run into a guy who is “closely related” to the kind of man they are praying for, then conclude that he is the one for them.

The fact that the guy was ahead of Boaz in the pecking order speaks volumes. This alludes to how some women end up believing that the first Christian man that crosses their path is their mate. When faced with this situation how can you avoid a Boaz look-alike who leads the pack and navigate to the man that God intends for you? Sometimes God allows you to be rejected by the impostor in order to redirect you to your Boaz. And when the road of rejection leads you to him, he might not be wealthy and influential like the biblical Boaz, but he will be Christ-like, responsible, and right for you.

If you’re like Ruth: you’re loving, faithful, virtuous, humble, compassionate and fear God, and yet, you feel like Christian men are ignoring you or turning you down — be of good cheer. You’re not being set back. You’re being setup for your Boaz. Wipe your tears. Raise your head. Shake off any shame that the enemy may have tried to implant in your head about your worth. You’re God’s prized jewel being preserved for the right man for your life.

A Bow to Tebow

Believe me, I tried not to do it. I tried to stay away from jumping on his band wagon; but I just couldn’t help it. Although a litany of naysayers, haters, and sports antagonists—oops, I mean sports analysts, were ripping him apart, I chose to align with the plethora of people who admired and supported “team” Tebow. For years, right from his successful stint at Florida, I heard about Tebow but I didn’t get caught up with his fame. However, the intense scrutiny on him drew me to his side.

Despite the blatant progress made by the Denver Broncos, sports analysts after analysts kept saying that Tebow was not an NFL Quarterback. He can’t throw. He’s not good enough. Yeah, they won, but it’s the defense; it’s the coach; it’s the other team messing up, and blah blah blah. Yet, Tebow torpedoes; and so does his team, toward the top of their division. The criticisms hurled at Tebow sound all too familiar.

They remind me of my book, Rejected for a Purpose: How God Uses Rejection to Help You Find and Fulfill Your Destiny. In it I discuss 8 benefits of rejection. Tebow does not only personify the theme of my book, but he also exemplifies someone who takes advantage of one of the benefits. One of the benefits rejection inadvertently brings into your life is inspiration. When people try to make you insignificant, minimize your contributions, focus on your weaknesses, in addition to telling you that you can’t have it, you can’t do it, and you can’t be it, you’re being rejected.

Funny enough, God loves rejects! And He uses them to confound the wise. Rejection humbles you. However, humility is a magnet for God’s grace. Amongst other things, God’s grace is His favor and power. Therefore, when you’re rejected the setback sets you up to receive God’s divine enablement to help you do what you could not do on your own strength. Do you know anyone who seems to be enjoying a lot of favor right now?

If you don’t know let me give you a clue: His initials are “T-T.” And this does not stand for temper tantrum. People like Tebow are inspired by rejection. All his life, people have doubted him. But the naysayers only fueled in him the passion to succeed, to persevere, to win. In my book, I mentioned 3 ways to respond to rejection. Tebow responds with all 3. But let me highlight one of his responses. His faith.

Usually when we experience rejection we lose faith in ourselves. The rebuff coerces you to think less of yourself since others devalue you. Some even lose faith in God. Sometimes people reject us from relationships because of our REALationship with God. Hmmm, sounds familiar doesn’t it? One way to deal with rejection and get a great deal out of it is not to lose your faith but to hold on to it. If you do not already have faith I encourage you to reach out for it by reaching out to God. He is close to those whose hearts are broken and have a crushed spirit (Ps 34:18). He will revive you. He will revitalize you. And He will restore, replenish, and rev you up for your life’s purpose(s). These might not happen overnight, but they will happen.

There are at least 4 reasons why people criticize you. 1) People criticize you because you’re not like them—you’re different. 2) People criticize you because you’re not with them—you’re not in their group. 3) People criticize you because you’re not for them—you disagree with them. 4) People criticize you because they feel you took something from them—you got the break; they didn’t—they’re hating.

Regardless of why people criticize and reject you, encourage yourself and keep moving forward. If you’re being ostracized because you’re different, remember that sometimes you have to be different to make a difference. If you’re snubbed because you’re not with a group, remember that God is with you. If someone gives you the cold shoulder because you disagree with them—without being disagreeable, keep your head up and agree with God. If people drank too much “hatorade” and are on a hater-raid on you because you got blessed and they didn’t, it’s ok. Take the high road. Remember this quote from Bishop T. D. Jakes, favor ain’t fair.

After putting their feet in their mouths and eating quite a few humble pies, some of the experts are coming to terms with the fact that since Tebow was given the thumbs-up to be the starting Quarterback for the Broncos, something miraculous started happening. The Broncos went from 4 losses and a win to 7 wins and a loss. At the time of this writing they have a record of 8 wins and 5 losses, total. Sports experts can’t explain why the chips are falling Tebow’s way; but they can’t deny that he is a winner, either. Some say it’s the Broncos defense. Some say it’s their coach. Some say it’s their opposing teams messing up. Some say it’s Tebow. Tebow says it’s team work. What do you say?

Practically, I believe it’s a combination of all of the above. Notwithstanding, there is an underlying force that allows all those factors to gel. I believe there is a main ingredient in the Broncos’ stew of success. And Tebow has the recipe. What is the recipe, you ask? Well, I tell you what one sports radio commentator said. He said that Tebow was not responsible for the success of the Broncos. I don’t know if he was being sarcastic or if he was really serious, but he said that Jesus Christ is the reason why the Broncos are successful. He said there is a power helping the Broncos. And he said on secular radio that folks need to go on their knees and make sure that they are right with Jesus. Wow!

From here on out regardless of what happens with the Broncos, there is something special about Tebow. Whether people may want to acknowledge it or not, God has His hands on him. And He is using him for purposes bigger than touch downs and successful goal kicks. God can do the same with you and any rejection you experience.

From trash to the Today Show

How God Uses Rejection to Help You Find and Fulfill Your DestinyOne minute, Harper finds herself in a trash bag left to die. In another minute she finds herself getting a massage in front of millions of people on national television. At the lowest point of her life her handicap forces her owner to leave her in a garbage bag. In an interesting twist of fate her handicap becomes a handy cap-tion, which gets her on the Today Show.

While watching the show, I was intrigued by the story of Harper, a puppy, which was left in the trash because of a condition that left her unable to walk or raise her head. This condition is called “swimming puppy disorder.” A woman from Sanford, Florida, noticed Harper squirming in the trash bag and rescued her. She took the gray pup to a local shelter. That’s how Harper ended up in the caring arms of Erica Daniel who was a regular at the shelter.

Erica took the dog to her home. She thought the dog would have to be euthanized, but to her amazement Harper responded positively to her massage. Erica then helped Harper get more massage and hydrotherapy. Consequently, though still struggling to stand, the dog is able to walk, raise her head, and is getting better in doing both.[1]

Perhaps you can relate with Harper; not as a puppy, but as someone who’s been rejected. Like that puppy, you might have been trashed. Notwithstanding, be encouraged to know that you are treasured. Someone might have given up on you; but there is someone else like that Florida woman and Erica Daniel who will give you a chance … and a break! There is someone else who will take you in your mess and help you become your best.

God uses rejection to get you from someone who sees you as handicapped to someone who sees you as handy. He uses it to get you from where you do not belong to where you will be longed. Harper was treated like garbage. However, the rejection got her entreated with a massage.

She started out, perhaps, rubbing her feeble body against junk and nibbling on other trash in the bag, in an effort to hang on to her dear life. But she ended up on the Today Show, rubbing shoulders with Matt Lauer and nibbling on his designer shoes. Harper’s ordeal turned out to bring a great deal to her. God uses rejection to do the same in your life. Be encouraged. Keep your head up.

Harper’s plight not only brought her to the lime light, it also shed light on what other rejected puppies where going through. Thanks to Harper, a bunch of other castaway puppies will find new homes with loving owners. Similarly, God uses your rejection to highlight what others are going through, and He uses your victory over it to help set others free.

Friend, being rejected is not the end of your life; rather, it’s a means to an end for your life. And that end is your destiny. Unlike Harper, rejection might not take you to the Today Show; however, you can show, today, that you will not allow it to take you out, but take you up.


[1]Animal Tracks on Today. http://animaltracks.today.com/_news/2011/10/04/8143557-handicapped-puppy-melts-hearts-chews-matts-shoes-on-today

Fatal Attraction Part 4

Having learned of lust thus far, how can we overcome lust? I believe the underlying principle for us to overcome it, is revealed in a native Cherokee Indian story. A boy went to his grandfather and told him that he is always angry. The grandfather told the boy that sometimes he is angry and upset, and sometimes he is happy. The grandfather went on to say that sometimes he feels like there are two wolves in his heart. One is always angry, gives in to fear, and always wants to fight. The other is always happy, peaceful, loving and just wants to make friends. And both wolves are always battling in his heart. The boy asked his grandfather which of the wolves wins the fight. The grandfather said, “The one I feed.”

There is a war going on in us between our flesh and our spirit. The one you feed determines who wins the fight. If you feed your flesh, lust will control you. If you feed your spirit, you will control lust. The following scriptures validate this:

For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life (Galatians 6:8 NKJV).

If you sow to your flesh you will stimulate your lusts and they will corrupt you. If you sow to your spirit you will live the God-kind of life. You will experience the lifestyle God has for you and benefit from the privileges that come with living the Zoe—the God-kind of life.

I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh (Galatians 5:16 NKJV).

So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves (NLT).

But I say, walk and live [habitually] in the [Holy] Spirit [responsive to and controlled and guided by the Spirit]; then you will certainly not gratify the cravings and desires of the flesh (of human nature without God)( AMP).

In order to feed your spirit and starve your flesh, you have to position yourself with people and in places that lift up your spirit. And this will be accomplished when you let the Holy Spirit lead you. Furthermore, feeding yourself with God’s Word will enhance and motivate your spirit. When this happens, the Spirit of God through the Word of God will instruct you to avoid or leave Gaza.

In other words avoid people and places that stimulate your flesh. Unplug the power supply to your flesh. Stay away from people that influence you in the wrong direction. Stay away from places that instigate you to yield to your lusts.

Stay away from every kind of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22 NLT).

Avoid every kind of evil (NIV).

Abstain from every form of evil (NKJV).

To avoid simply means to create a void. Therefore when you avoid something, someone, or someplace, you create a void between you and the thing, person or place. However, that void needs to be filled with God’s Word. If not, the void will be filled with the old junk and you will be back in the same lusts you were before, and even worse off.

Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Matthew 26:41 NKJV)

…Stay alert; be in prayer so you don’t wander into temptation without even knowing you’re in danger. There is a part of you that is eager, ready for anything in God. But there’s another part that’s as lazy as an old dog sleeping by the fire.”(MSG)

Prayer helps us avoid entering temptation. If we don’t pray, we will be susceptible to entering temptation. We will be vulnerable to going to Gaza. Dr. Joyce Meyer once said, “Temptation may come to you, but don’t go to it.”

Maybe you are already in Gaza. Maybe you are already in an environment and with a person that arouses your lusts. In this case you have to flee from that environment. Take off!

Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts (2 Timothy 2:22 NLT).

Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart (NIV).

That scripture highlights a vital process that God uses to deliver us from ungodly situations. There are two parts to this process. God delivers us from, and delivers us to. Unfortunately, someone might allow God to deliver him or her from something or someone, but not allow God to deliver him or her to something or someone else better for us. God delivers us from darkness and delivers us to light.

For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, (Colossians 1:13 NLT)

He delivers us from lust and delivers us to righteousness, faith, love and peace, and to people who live for God. If we don’t allow God to do the second part of the deliverance process, it will be a matter of time for us to back-track into the things that He delivered us from.

When we feed our spirits by feeding ourselves with God’s Word, being led by the Holy Spirit, avoiding or cutting ourselves off from the wrong things, wrong people, and wrong places, then we can bear the fruit below.

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! (Galatians 5:22-23 NLT)

If you noticed, part of the fruit above is self-control. Feeding your spirit will give you control over your lusts. You can’t stop your flesh from having lusts because they are part of your human nature, however you can control your lusts. And once again, controlling yourself by feeding your spirit with God’s Word, obeying the Holy Spirit, praying, and avoiding all evil will help you overcome lust.

Fatal Attraction Part 3

Just like the rulers of the Philistines employed Delilah to weaken Samson, the devil employs lust to weaken the church or a Christian. He employs lust to entice us and expose our weaknesses by drawing us away from our strengths, so that the he can overpower us, bind us, and afflict us. The Philistine leaders paid money to Delilah to deceive Samson. Similarly lust is affiliated with money. That’s why the love, or better still, the lust of money, not money, is the root of all evil (1 Timothy 6:10).

Lust is controlled by money. Love controls money. Lust uses money as a tool to bind you. Love uses money as a tool to set you free.

Then she said to him, “How can you say, ‘I love you,’ when your heart is not with me? You have mocked me these three times, and have not told me where your great strength lies.” And it came to pass, when she pestered him daily with her words and pressed him, so that his soul was vexed to death, that he told her all his heart, and said to her, “No razor has ever come upon my head, for I have been a Nazirite to God from my mother’s womb. If I am shaven, then my strength will leave me, and I shall become weak, and be like any other man.” When Delilah saw that he had told her all his heart, she sent and called for the lords of the Philistines, saying, “Come up once more, for he has told me all his heart.” So the Lords of the Philistines came up to her and brought the money in their hand (Judges 16:15-18 NKJV).

Did you notice the back and forth between Delilah and Samson (Judges 16:1-18)? That’s how lust is with us too. We may go back and forth in fighting against the lusts of our flesh, and if we’re like Samson we’ll eventually give up and give in to our fleshly desires. And this will be fatal. Samson was with the wrong person and in the wrong place. He was at a disadvantage. We can’t continue hanging out with the wrong friends and going to environments where there are strong temptations that stimulate our lusts, and not expect to succumb to our desires.

Jesus said we should pray not to enter into temptation. Some of us are willing to do right but our flesh is weak. You might be willing to live right, but you can’t continue going to the wrong environment and hanging out with the wrong people without entering temptation. Our flesh is weak, thanks to its lusts. Samson succumbed and he was weakened.

Delilah or Lust pestered him, pressured him, and pressed him. It manipulated him. That’s the same thing lust does to you and I. Our lusts pester, pressure, depress and manipulate us. They make us feel guilty. It messes with our minds and causes us to give up what is important to us. Some have lost their virtue, dignity and credibility because of lust.

Lust is aggressive. Love is submissive. Lust is desperate. Love is temperate. Lust makes you feel guilty. Love makes you free. Lust manipulates. Love motivates. Lust takes advantage of you. Love gives you the advantage. Lust takes. Love gives.

Then she lulled him to sleep on her knees, and called for a man and had him shave off the seven locks of his head. Then she began to torment him, and his strength left him (Judges 16:19 NKJV).

Lust lulls you to sleep. When we are under the spell of lust, we become desensitized to what is happening to us. We gradually go in a downward spiral. By the time we discover what is happening to us we are rock bottom. Sometimes when people start out indulging in their lusts they are still able to function normally. But there comes a point where their lusts have taken so much control over them that they are not able to do business as usual. In Samson’s case he thought that he could just jump up like he did at other times and break himself free; but, he was given a rude awakening. Lust had stolen his strength.

And she said, “The Philistines are upon you, Samson!” So he awoke from his sleep, and said, “I will go out as before, at other times, and shake myself free!” But he did not know that the LORD had departed from him (Judges 16:20 NKJV).

Lust also torments us. Since fear torments and faith works in love, it’s safe to conclude that fear works in lust. Love energizes faith. Lust energizes fear. Perfect love casts out fear, but lust invites fear. Love is not blind. Lust is. See what it did to Samson. It led to his blindness. Lust blinds you and binds you.

Then the Philistines took him and put out his eyes, and brought him to Gaza. They bound him with bronze fetters, and he became a grinder in the prison (Judges 16:21 NKJV).

 Notice where Samson ended up? He ended up in Gaza, in bondage, grinding. I believe Gaza was a turning point in his downward spiral.

However, the hair of his head began to grow again after it had been shaven (Judges 16:22 NKJV).

And he judged Israel twenty years in the days of the Philistines (Judges 15:20 NKJV). 

So it happened, when their hearts were merry, that they said, “Call for Samson, that he may perform for us.” So they called for Samson from the prison, and he performed for them. And they stationed him between the pillars. Then Samson said to the lad who held him by the hand, “Let me feel the pillars which support the temple, so that I can lean on them.”

Now the temple was full of men and women. All the lords of the Philistines were there—about three thousand men and women on the roof watching while Samson performed. Then Samson called to the LORD, saying, “O Lord GOD, remember me, I pray! Strengthen me, I pray, just this once, O God, that I may with one blow take vengeance on the Philistines for my two eyes!” And Samson took hold of the two middle pillars which supported the temple, and he braced himself against them, one on his right and the other on his left.  

Then Samson said, “Let me die with the Philistines!” And he pushed with all his might, and the temple fell on the lords and all the people who were in it. So the dead that he killed at his death were more than he had killed in his life.  And his brothers and all his father’s household came down and took him, and brought him up and buried him between Zorah and Eshtaol in the tomb of his father Manoah. He had judged Israel twenty years (Judges 16:25-32 NKJV).

Notice that Samson was judging Israel for 20 years before he met Delilah. After he met her, and died, he judged Israel for 20 years. In essence, he was doing fine until he met Delilah, and his ministry ended up abruptly. Lust will cut your life and ministry short. Lust can cause you to lose your marriage, relationship, business, scholarship or job abruptly! Just like that. You might have been doing well for a while and then all of a sudden the bottom falls out. That’s what lust can do to us. It did for Samson. He led Israel for 20 years. He hooked up with Delilah, and his ministry, leadership and tenure in office ended shortly after.

Perhaps you’re familiar with a part that I skipped in the story. His hair began to grow back. He prayed to God to give him strength. He asked a lad to place his hands on two pillars while people were watching him entertain them. And he pushed the pillars and brought the building down to kill everyone, including himself. In his prayer, he asked God to let him die with the people. I don’t believe God answered him because the Bible did not mention anything about God responding to him.

Notwithstanding, his strength was connected to his hair; and the Bible clearly revealed that his hair was growing back. The last point, however, that I want to make about lust is that it’s suicidal. Samson killed others and killed himself. Lust can lead to suicide. Violence, jealousy, dissension (strong disagreements) are also lusts of the flesh.

Fatal Attraction Part 2

How God Uses Rejection to Help You Find and Fulfill Your DestinyDavid is another example of someone who got high on LSD; Lust, Sin and Death. When kings were at war I believe lust drew him away from the battlefield to the rooftop of his house, to indulge in watching Bathsheba taking her bath. That lust led him to sin with her by committing adultery. That then led to the death of her husband, which took place when David connived with the leader of his troops to place her husband, Uriah, in the area where the battle was heated. It also led to the death of the child conceived through the adultery, since David was judged for his transgression (2 Samuel 11).

The parable of the sower is another example of lust at work. The story is narrated in Mark 4. Jesus said a sower went out to sow some seeds, which represent God’s word. Some fell by the way side, and birds came and ate them up. Some fell on stony ground, and came up quickly. But because they were not deeply rooted, when the sun came up they were scorched and yielded no fruit. Some fell among thorns and were choked by the thorns. Some fell on good ground and yielded fruit, some 30, some 60, and some 100 fold.

I’ll like us to focus on the third ground; the one with thorns. Mark’s version of the story describes the thorns as the deceitfulness of riches and the desire for other things. They choke the word. I believe those desires are lusts. The lusts for other things drew the recipient of the seed from God’s seed or Word, and it choked the life out of the word, and it did not bear fruit. There was death. Lust, sin, death.

And the ones sown among the thorns are others who hear the Word; Then the cares and anxieties of the world and distractions of the age, and the pleasure and delight and false glamour and deceitfulness of riches, and the craving and passionate desire for other things creep in and choke and suffocate the Word, and it becomes fruitless (Mark 4:18-19 AMP).

A great story that gives us a picture of what the fatal attraction of lust can do to us is the story of Samson and Delilah. Their story is awesome in demonstrating lust because Young’s concordance translates the meaning of Delilah as languishing. Strong’s translates the meaning of Delilah as lustful. One might ask “why the difference?” Well, to languish means to pine away with longing or desire. It also means to become weak or feeble.

Lust makes you pine away with longing or desire. It makes you weak or feeble just like a drug addict or alcoholic is weakened, or loses their passion for life. A prisoner is languishing in prison when the individual emaciates and loses their passion for life. That is what lust does to you and I. That’s why I believe Strong’s simply described Delilah as lustful. With this in mind, let’s look at their story.

One day Samson went to the Philistine town of Gaza and spent the night with a prostitute (Judges 16:1 NLT).

Being under the control of lust usually doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a gradual process. Usually two factors contribute to us getting into the stronghold of lust. They are a person and a place. Either you go to a person who takes you to that place, or a place takes you to that person. By person, I mean someone that will influence you. By a place, I mean an environment. Usually a person will take you to an environment where your lust is stimulated, or you go to an environment and meet someone who can cause you to yield to your lust.

That person could be a friend or an acquaintance. That place could be a bar, club, dorm room, someone’s apartment or some other environment. That place could be a room and that person could be an individual on the flat screen or x rated magazine. In other words someone in a seductive or pornographic display.

In Samson’s case he went to Gaza where he met a prostitute. Gaza means strong place. Sometimes when we are in a “Gaza,” a strong place, we fall prey to strong holds. In Gaza, the place, he meets a prostitute, the person, and fulfilled his lust. This led him to more lust:

Afterward it happened that he loved a woman in the Valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah. And the Lords of the Philistines came up to her and said, “Entice him, and find out where his great strength lies, and by what means we may overpower him, that we may bind him to afflict him; and every one of us will give you eleven hundred pieces of silver.” So Delilah said to Samson, “Please tell me where your great strength lies, and with what you may be bound to afflict you.” (Judges 16:4-6 NKJV)

So Samson ends up loving Delilah or having a desire for “lustful”; or someone that will make him weak or languish since Delilah means lustful or languishing. Delilah asked Samson where his strength lay and how he could be bound. She asked him upfront what could be done to him to put him in bondage. Similarly, when we indulge in things that we know can put us in bondage, then we can know that we are under the influence of lust. Lust pretty much tells you it’s going to harm you. When we give in to desires that we know ahead of time that are not good for us, then we know we are under the influence of lust.

Notice that the Lord’s of the Philistines bribed Delilah to discover Samson’s strength so that they could put him in bondage. In the Old Testament, the Philistines were the enemies of the Israelites. Goliath was a Philistine that was killed by David, the Israelite. The Philistines are symbolic of the enemy, and the Israelites are symbolic of the church. The Lords or rulers of the Philistines are symbolic of principalities, powers, spiritual wickedness, and rulers of the darkness of this age; all of which are under the power of the main enemy, the devil (Ephesians 6:10-13).

Fatal Attraction Part 1

How God Uses Rejection to Help You Find and Fulfill Your DestinyWhat is a fatal attraction? To understand this I looked up the words “fatal” and “attraction.” I discovered that something is fatal when it is deadly or capable of causing death, destruction, misfortune, ruin or failure. I also learned that an attraction is a person or thing that draws, attracts, allures or entices. It is also a characteristic or quality that provides pleasure.

Therefore when we combine the two words, a fatal attraction is a person or thing that draws, attracts, allures, entices and is deadly. A fatal attraction is a characteristic or quality that provides pleasure and is capable of causing death, destruction, misfortune, ruin or failure.

A number of things can fit the description of a fatal attraction. But the number one thing that comes to mind that accurately depicts a fatal attraction is lust. Lust is a passionate or overwhelming desire or craving. The Greek word translated as lust in the Bible is epithumia. Young’s concordance describes epithumia as over desire, Strong’s describes this as a longing; especially for something that is forbidden. It also describes it as an evil desire.

But every person is tempted when he is drawn away, enticed and baited by his own evil desire (lust, passions). Then the evil desire, when it has conceived, gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is fully matured, brings forth death (James 1:14-15 AMP).

The scripture above shows us at least two things:

1. We all have lusts. It’s in our eyes and our flesh (1 John 2:16).

For the desires of the flesh are opposed to the [Holy] Spirit, and the [desires of the] Spirit are opposed to the flesh (godless human nature); for these are antagonistic to each other [continually withstanding and in conflict with each other], so that you are not free but are prevented from doing what you desire to do (Galatians 5:17 AMP).

When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God (Galatians 5:19-21 NLT).

More often than not, when people think of lust they think of the big three: sex, alcohol and drugs. But lust includes a whole lot more than them. As the scriptures above reveal, idolatry (worshipping of idols, whether things or people), quarrelling, hostility, uncontrolled anger, wild parties, selfish ambitions, lust for power, recognition or attention are all lusts of the flesh.

2. Lust progresses in three stages. Apparently we lust in three stages, which I’ll like to call LSD (Lust, Sin, Death):

a. Lust draws us away and entices us.

Because we have lusts in our flesh, we are going to be drawn to something or someone. That thing or person that we are drawn to may or may not be good for us. Notwithstanding, the lusts in our flesh will cause us to be drawn. There is nothing wrong with this; and there is nothing you can do about the lusts that are part of our human nature.

Even so, it’s one thing to be drawn; it’s another thing to be drawn away. This is where we get in trouble; when we are drawn away. If we don’t exercise proper self control we will be drawn away. We are tempted and enticed when we are drawn away from God’s will, God’s Word, our responsibilities, our purpose or from what is right. If we don’t control ourselves, ourselves (lust in us) will control us and lead us to the next stage—sin.

b. It conceives and gives birth to sin.

Sin goes through its own progression and then leads to death.

c. Sin when it has fully grown gives birth to death.

I’ve learned that death is a systematic breakdown of an organism or organization until it ceases to exist. More often than not we think of death as someone suddenly dying or collapsing to death. This is actually the end of death. True death is systematic and gradual. We can see this in Adam and Eve.

They yielded to the lust of their flesh and it gave birth to sin, which gave birth to the death of mankind. The minute we are born we begin to die. In Adam’s time, people were dying at around 900 years plus. Now people are dying naturally around 70 to 90. Furthermore, Adam and Eve’s story gives us a glimpse of the LSD process. Satan exploited the lust of Eve’s eyes and her flesh to eat the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Before Eve ate the fruit she looked at the tree and saw that it was desirable to make one wise, then she ate (Genesis 3:1-6).

When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it (Genesis 3:6 NIV).

By eating she sinned; so did her husband. Then they died. They didn’t collapse immediately, but we see that death was imminent spiritually, and gradual physically. Their lusts led to their sin, which led to their death. Satan used lust to draw Adam and Eve away from the tree of life so that they could eat from the forbidden tree. Similarly he uses lust to draw us away from our Tree of Life, Jesus, to lead us to sin, then to our deaths or separations; whether of our marriages, businesses, relationships or purposes.

Put on Your Running Shoes

How God Uses Rejection to Help You Find and Fulfill Your DestinyDoes the name, Phil Knight, ring a bell? I must admit, I didn’t know who he was until I saw him in a recent interview. During this interview he disclosed that up to the time he was 14 years old he was sure of becoming a big league baseball player. But his plans came to a crashing halt when he was cut from his high school baseball team.

Consequently, he ventured into track. This led him to the University of Oregon where he ran track for their legendary coach, Bill Bowerman. Their coach and athlete relationship evolved into a business partner relationship. Phil started importing shoes from Japan to help improve the way athletes run. In 1964 Phil and Bill started their company, which was formerly named Blue Ribbon Sports. In 1972 they began making their own shoes.[1]

While you might not know who Phil and Bill are, chances are that the current name of their company will not only ring a bell in your ears, but also ring loud like the sound of a gong or chimes of the clock of a cathedral. They are the cofounders of Nike. But how did they get to this point? What was the turning point that led Phil Knight to co-found a company that currently has 36000 employees globally, 7000 employees in Beaverton, Oregon, and a 2010 reported revenue of $19 billion?[2]

I suspect that hard work and best business practices were involved in their success. Notwithstanding, my focus is on what happened to Phil Knight as a teenager. He was rejected! He was cut from his high school baseball team. That rejection became his redirection. That was his turning point. Getting turned down from one sport turned him on to become a person considered the most powerful man in all sports.

Likewise, God uses rejection for a purpose; to redirect you to your purpose. When we are heading in the wrong direction, God utilizes rejection as the detour to reroute us in the right direction. Phil Knight did not let the rebuff from high school baseball slow him down; rather, he put on his running shoes and bolted in another direction. What initially looked like his rude awakening turned out to be his great awakening.

The rejection not only led him to be a successful businessman, it also led him to a legendary coach, mentor, friend and business partner. This is akin to how God uses rejection for you and me. He uses it to get us from the wrong people and wrong plans (often our plans) to the right people and right plans. His plans for our lives. Being rejected is not the end of your life; it’s just a means to an end for your life. And that end is your destiny.

If you get rejected, I encourage you to take a note from Phil knight’s response to being dismissed from his high school’s baseball team. Don’t cave in. Don’t despair. Don’t wallow in self pity asking questions like, “What’s wrong with me?” Ask the question, “What’s right for me?” And to answer this question, put on your “running shoes” and pursue other opportunities awaiting you.

You’ll never know what they are, who they are, or who he or she is until you get up from the floor adjacent to that closed and bolted door wired with an ADT alarm system, and move on with your life. People may tell you that you can’t be it, you can’t have it, or you can’t do it. But through Christ you can do all things. God will use their rejection to redirect you and help you realize that you can just do it; the right “it” for your life.


[1]Oprah, “Nike’s Phil Knight,” http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Nikes-Phil-Knight/1 (accessed April 27, 2011).

[2]Nike, http://www.nikebiz.com/company_overview/facts.html (accessed April 27, 2011).