A friend of mine once told me about a surprise that was sprung on her. My friend, Zichi, is a heartwarming singer. She had a desire to learn and play the guitar. She prayed to God to help her get a guitar. Her preciseness to hit the right notes when singing, also extended to her choice of guitar.
She didn’t just want any guitar; she wanted a specific kind of guitar—one that cost quite a bit of money. While she prayed to God to help her acquire such a guitar, she also worked and saved money for her musical instrument. For Christmas, she was given a surprise gift. A few of her friends and her sister contributed some money, bought her a gift, and wrapped it in a package.
By the size and shape of the package she could tell that they surprised her with a guitar. However, deep down, in her heart she wasn’t too excited about the gift. The wrap around her package was the wrap for a cheap guitar she didn’t want. What could she do? She had to show some gratitude for what was done for her.
She opened her package, and to her surprise and delight, she discovered that they bought her the guitar she had been praying for. We both agreed that her experience reinforced the wisdom in not judging a book by its cover—in this case, a package by its wrap. Sadly, that’s what many of us do. It’s my understanding that marketing specialists exploit this flaw in decision-making to sell products.
Why do you think celebrities, attractive individuals, and eye-catching ads are used to lure us to buy products? More often than not, we are influenced to buy a product, not because of its attributes, but because of the attributes of the celebrity endorsing it. When it comes to buying paper towels, carpet cleaners or other household products, accepting or rejecting these items based on their appearance and endorsements might not be disastrous.
The same, however, cannot be said when it comes to people. I can’t imagine how many men and women have suffered unnecessarily by getting into relationships simply because they were captivated by the looks of the person they got involved with. How many businesses have gone south because the hiring managers chose the wrong candidate because the individual’s charisma and fabricated resume dazzled them in the interview?
Many a woman has ended up in a mess because she wanted a guy who looked like Brad Pitt. And after the look-alike got what he wanted from her, he left her in a bad pit. Many men want a lady who looks like Halle Berry, Megan Fox or Kim Kardashian. They wanted a bombshell, but when the bomb exploded they were left shattered with the debris of their lives scattered everywhere.
Of course, God can bless you with an individual with good character who is as attractive as the aforementioned celebrities. The point I’m making is that sometimes we’re too quick to choose someone “solely” on their looks. We give the wrong people a promotion, a seat on the board, a position as a business partner, a place in the church’s leadership, a significant place in our hearts just because they catch our eyes and tickle our fancies.
Don’t judge a book by its cover; judge it by the writings in its chapters. Don’t judge a package by its wrap; judge it by the package in the wrap. Don’t judge a person by the color of her pupil, the chisel of his physique, the texture and length of her hair, the brand of his clothes or her outfit. Judge them by their character.
Integrity cannot be deduced at first sight. Authenticity cannot be ascertained on impulse. Godly wisdom and discernment is necessary to help us make informed decisions. Even the prophet Samuel, one of his kind, though briefly and inconsequentially, fell prey to making the wrong judgment call based on looks.
After Saul, Israel’s first king, was relieved of his position, God asked Samuel to go to the house of a man named Jesse to appoint one of his son’s as the next king (1 Samuel 16:1). Jesse had eight sons. When Samuel arrived at Jesse’s house, after seeing Eliab, Jesse’s eldest, Samuel presumed that Eliab was God’s chosen. Eliab looked the part. But the Prophet, Samuel, was wrong. God redirected him to David, the youngest, whom prophet and parent overlooked for the position. In correcting Samuel’s error God made a statement that encapsulates the theme of this writing:
But the Lord told him, “Samuel, don’t think Eliab is the one just because he’s tall and handsome. He isn’t the one I’ve chosen. People judge others by what they look like, but I judge people by what is in their hearts.” (1 Samuel 16:7 CEV)
Interestingly, later on, Eliab, whom Samuel mistook for God’s appointee, criticized David when he came to inquire about a battle between the Israelites and the Philistines (1 Samuel 17:22-28). Eliab was part of the Israelite army. David was not. Goliath was the Philistines’ top fighter. He breathed threats against the Israelite troops, and all the Israelite soldiers, including Eliab, where quaking in their boots (1 Samuel 17:4-11). David, the overlooked choice, took care of Goliath (1 Samuel 17:32-51). Something Eliab, the obvious choice, couldn’t do.
Who would have thought that a ruddy-looking teenage boy with no military experience, whose pastime was playing the harp and singing in harmony with the bleating of sheep, would kick Goliath’s butt (1 Samuel 16:11-12, 23)? Have this in mind when you’re tempted to overlook a potential employee because he or she does not have a ginormous resume, or when the lady or gentleman you could develop a relationship with doesn’t look like Salma Hayek or Denzel.
Don’t just dismiss someone who could potentially transform your life, turnaround your business, propel your ministry, make your heart flutter, or help you fulfill your destiny, just because the person’s appearance does not give you goose pimples. Discern wisely. Ask God for help. Allow His wisdom to enter your heart, and His knowledge of the person’s character to be pleasant to your soul. So that discretion preserves you, and His understanding keeps you from making the wrong decision (Proverbs 2:6-15).
In the words of John C. Maxwell:
People are like icebergs. There is much more to them than meets the eye.
Would you care to share a time that you made a decision based solely on the appearance of a person or a product? How did your decision turn out?